What Brought on the Big Move

The time has come to make a big move, about five hours from where I grew up and have been raising my son. This summer has afforded us the opportunity to live in the 'near north' of Ontario for about two months with friends while working in their bookstore. The decision was carefully considered as there are factors to take into account when making a move of this distance (granted people move across the country or the world, but this is the furthest for me personally).



Our current living situation has given us tremendous grief and heartache at the lack of parenting local children are being given. It has been a sad circumstance, for certain, to watch children my son's age and older; being permitted to do as they choose and no consequence for their choices. Children even younger then my son have been rude, disrespectful and unsupervised. Really very sad, and for the past 22 months (it will be a full 2 years by the time we move out), the situation has not improved in that area. Last winter my son, then 10 years old, was pinned to the ground and his face punched and hit until it bled. The girl that did this grand job of bullying, is slightly older and permitted to do "whatever" she wants. Sad to say, but that is one girl looking for attention from all of the wrong places and I am really concerned what her future will hold if she maintains this current path. Her brothers (including two "step" brothers) are quite bold bullies and have no fear or respect of adults. Sadly, their futures don't appear much different then their sister's.

Other children in the area, are neglected and expected to fend for themselves for meals, attention and even clothing. Our first winter in that house, a little girl had no snow pants, I gave her an old pair of my son's to keep. I checked with her mother first, and she didn't have snow pants. Apparently it was more important to drink and party then to have appropriate outside clothing for her child. Another little girl, close to my son's age, is not served meals nor permitted in the kitchen to make her own, for the mid day meal. I invite her for meals when she is playing with my son, but I can't give her meals when I am so far away- and moving such a distance. My son will miss her the most, they get along the best and she has been the only real friend he's had while living there. Fair-weather friends and bullies are the only other "labels" that children seem to wear in that community.

As for family and friends, well I don't have any friends in the community that we are leaving and after almost two years of being taken advantage of (and I should say, allowing myself to be taken advantage of) for the sake of "keeping the peace" and living beside the bullies family, I won't miss the neighbourhood in the least. I won't be the "go to" person for groceries, medication or toiletries; that's not to say that I wouldn't give a cup of sugar to a neighbour or something, but being the local "doormat" is not something I will do either. For the sake of adults "getting along" it appears that I was only being "used" by the neighbour's for my kindness and taken advantage of in a very big way. When the medication stopped and I didn't allow the woman to "house sit" anymore, things went sour quite quickly. I had her watch the house on a few occasions and trust was built, however, this summer her children and step-children were permitted in the house and on my property while she was neglecting their attentions, and items were stole. Mostly food and cases of iced-tea, but the bottom of my freezer holds testament to the fact that my groceries are gone; I don't recall ever seeing the bottom of my freezer (inside) and was shocked to open the lid to find that most food was missing.

I suspect that a key was made while I was away and she was watching the house because the house isn't being broken in to, but definately there is a feeling that things "aren't quite right" and that feeling that "someone's been here" that lingers in the air.

As for the new house, it is primarily on one level and has few stairs, only at the entrance really. This will be great for my back and will make it easier for bringing in groceries and moving, etc. I am looking forward to the place, and the fresh start that comes with it. The acreage is about 3, there are trees surrounding the lot and no neighbours on either side to speak of really. Across the road there are some people, but I have already been cautioned by two people to keep my business private and just stay clear of them.

The grass and lawn is very hilly with the Canadian Shield making for an interesting landscape throughout the yard. I have been tossing ideas around for making a flat area over one of the mounds of rock, by making a deck of some sort. The rock also would make great centerpieces for gardens, they are massive and unlike anything I have seen in someone's yard before.

Another feature that attracts me to the 'near north' is the sky. The seemingly endless sky that is so apparent here and expands from horizon to horizon like a giant encompassing bubble. This is actually one of the reasons for us to move here, I can't get over the sky and how high and large it is. In contrast to "south" of here, where the tree lines seem lower and there is a sense of pressure or confinement. When I am not driving the vehicle, I am looking out the window and just love the sky. I hope that feeling never changes or goes away, that I never take for granted the feeling of the expanse, beauty and feeling that I am seeing everything, or at least more.

My son is quite excited about the move, now 11 years old, he asked that we move before he became a teenager because he just knew that it was not a good area for him to live in. He will be 12 minutes from his best friend (versus almost 5 hours) and will be able to get together more often then previously. They get along like brothers or cousins; quite well at times, fighting the next moment and when one is in trouble, the other is bored because he has no playmate. It's been a good summer, for the most part, for the boys to be together and play. They had summer camp for six weeks which kept them busy and tired at the end of the day.

A vehicle is again on the horizon, moving to the rural 'near north' some form of transportation is vital, so I sold my 'wreck' on the weekend for $100 to a wrecking yard, and have a van lined up to purchase in the next day or two. That will be great, it's been a year with no vehicle and in the place we live, that means walking or taking a taxi, there are no buses. Even more important where we are moving 5km out of the town, (which is barely more than a gas station) and doesn't even have library, a taxi or bus is unheard of.

The moving day is October 31st, we are hoping for October 1st though. The new house will be empty by then. Here's to hoping that my current landlord finds another tenant and can move in.
Sue called yesterday, the landlady for the new house, and I asked a couple of questions, basically keeping in touch and ensuring that all was going well on my end.

I've given my 60 days notice, with the clause added that if the landlord finds a renter early then they have only to contact me and I will be out sooner (as I am so eager to move). I just have to rent a moving truck.